G-d as I understand him does not direct us in our daily endeavors or manages our lives for us. The powerlessness we have over our addiction is unmanageable. So I asked, if G-d will not control my addiction for me, how can I find sobriety? The answer for me is that sobriety is a miracle. As I work the 12 steps of SAA, I remember that many opportunities to gain sobriety and stop the ever increasing downward spiral of depravity were presented to me, the majority of which I am ashamed to admit I ignored. My addiction had blinded me to them. The sheer number of them along with their timing created the question in my mind: How do I reconcile my belief that G-d does not specifically intervene in my life with the knowledge that coincidence alone cannot explain how I have been graced with help and support and have benefited from opportunities that seem to present themselves just when I needed them the most? The answer for me became clear when I stopped trying to control my addiction. As soon as I admitted I was powerless, I could finally see the miracles that were there all along. G-d and his miracles for me have always been there. As long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and I work my program, the important things seem to get resolved.
Just for today I will keep my eyes open for any miracles my Higher Power sends my way.
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